Hope you all had a great Xmas and all the best for 2009 to you all.

Thought I'd spend a few minutes updating my blog on the past few weeks. Well I got P's job and will be starting w/c 5th Jan. My working days will be Wed-Fri and there's a possibility that the job may be stretched to 4 days but will wait and see on that one.

Am very happy to have been offered the job. The past 2 1/2 years since handing in my notice at my last employer until now has been very challenging. I didn't think after giving up a job due to mental health problems that anyone would want to employ me again but that was totally wrong. What I realise now was at the time I was strong enough to make a decision to change my life in what at first might seem a negative way but in fact it was my way of taking control of my life again and listening to my inner self on what I needed to do to get things on the right track again.

Getting over a breakdown is never easy but what I've learnt is that the only way to make sure it doesn't happen again is take time to think about what you need to do to change things. The first thing for me was facing the fact that I needed counselling to help me understand what was happening to me and finding a way of understanding that sometimes things happen to you that aren't your fault but nevertheless leave you feeling angry towards the world.

The second step was accepting that I am merely a human being and like anyone else have my emotional needs and insecurities. A major thing for me was realising that it's ok to ask for help - something that I once did and thought I hadn't been listened to but now I realise I was so wrong about that.

Anyway my plan on returning to work has always been one step at a time and I set myself small goals. The first was to find a job that wasn't mentally demanding and which also gave me a reason for getting out of bed in the morning. It was important to me in my return to get to the point where on an application form I didn't have to complete the bit about what illnesses have you had over the past two years (obviously minor ailments not included in this). I managed to do this about six months ago.

I've now taken the next step forward which has taken me to a job which was the same grade as I used to be on - for me this is a major achievement but to be honest that doesn't really matter. The reason I wanted the job was that I was getting bored doing the same thing all day which to me was a sign that I was ready for the next step and so in January will be doing a job which is more varied and enables me to get chance to chat with people which I love doing.

Sorry didn't mean this to be such a long blog.

We've had a lovely Xmas. It was our first without having R with us for Xmas lunch as they went to R's mas for that and came down later. We had my extended family with us plus M of course and it was great but next year I think we'll be going back to having a small family Xmas.

We went to the panto yesterday (Aladdin). This is a great panto and we all enjoyed it. Today I've succummbed to a winter cold and am not feeling too great. I'm supposed to be back at work on Tuesday and on NYE we're out wth N&G so I've got to get better for that. Mind you think hubby might come down with it too so will see what happens

That's all for now. Love to all xxxx