Life's a Gas

Hi all, its been a long time but finally over the past few months I've not felt the need to express myself in words and had seriously thought about deleting my blog but decided against it. Good decision to.

So far I'm having a great year. The highlight so far was going to Cuba in March with my hubby for our silver wedding treat. It was fabulous. We stayed at a swanky hotel and were pampered to the max. The country is beautiful and it is difficult to explain how such a fabulous country can having such appalling living conditions for their people. We went to Havana which was fab but it was heartbreaking to see the conditions of a lot of their buildings and it was amazing to see people living in places which we would just pull down and start again.

Work wise things are going well. I'm really enjoying my job and it hasn't been difficult at all for me to cope with the variety of work which I have to do which at times can be difficult and stressful. Our team is now fully recruited to and hopefully now we will move on and make headways in our work - it is so much better now than when I joined 18 months ago.

Talking about work takes me to the reason why I felt the need to write my thoughts again. A lovely lady R who's American has been working in our office for the past two years. Last night her and her hubby had drinks with people who they've made friends with whilst living in Sheffield as they are moving down south next week. Me and my buddy N were invited to have a drink with them at a local pub along with our hubbies.

We went last night and admittedly I had quite a lot to drink and was my usual self whilst drunk which is happy, a bit daft but never nasty in any shape or form. Anyway our group of 4 had been sat at a table and towards the end of the evening I felt the need to go to the ladies. After coming out I noticed R and her hubby with some of their friends and went across to have a chat. Admittedly I was probably being a bit daft and after a bit it became quite clear that R was embarrased by me in front of her "yuppy" chums who are their tennis chumb from a posh end of the city. My mate's hubby was on his way to the gents and came over to have a chat. I was totally astounded when R (who I've always been really nice to and got on well with) asked G to take me back to the table as I want talking rubbish.

I was really upset by this and ended up having a bit of a cry on my mate's shoulder as I'd never been so disrespected before in my whole life (writing this is really helping me sorry if I'm boring you). Later R came to say bye to us and to be honest I could hardly be bothered to talk to her. She's facebooked me today condescendingly asking "how are you today" meaning you were totally embarassing last night. So far I've not responded albeit put a little posting on mine just to let her know that I've seen her comment but decided at this time not to answer. Question is now should I let her know my feelings or not? I probably won't see her again now (she and hubby are moving down South)but had planned to keep in touch via facebook.

I don't like having a relationship finish on our sour note but to be honest in the past if she's felt someone's disrespected her in anyway she's not liked it at all. mmmmmmmmmmmm what should I do?

Almost time to go back to work. We've had a lovely weekend. We went to D&R's on Saturday and some other friends came as well. D&R made a lovely meal helped by their two kids who ate with us and it was a lovely family/friends time. I put a thank you card to them all in the post yesterday as we had such a great time with them.

On Sunday I cooked a meal and R&R came round. M was also there and it was lovely, R was 22 yesterday so we celebrated her birthday with a roast beef dinner followed by R's request of treacle sponge and custard. Me and hubby picked up some Xmas crackers so it made quite a nice family time. Its lovely to hear the kids chatting away while me and hubby are in the kitchen.

Yesterday ma was supposed to be coming out with me and R but couldn't cos of the dratted flu. Me and R did a little bit of shopping, went to a Chinese buffet and then onto the flicks to see War Brides which although a bit cheesy made for a nice girly time.

Got home to find the paperwork for N&my trip to London which is on 7th Feb - not long now. Its great to have things to look forward to makes it worth going to work and any stress attained while at work is quickly depleted when you have other things going on in your life.

See you soon.XX

Yes its back to work for me tomorrow and to be honest I'm looking forward to it. It will be the first day of my new job. I've now got the remanants of a cough which isn't too difficult to deal with and am feeling fighting fit and ready for the off.

We went out with N&G on Saturday and had a good night. On the housework front my ironings up to date, the house is shipshape, I've made a lovely dinner tonight (my own receipe for a beef casserole)which was enhanced by a glass of the red stuff.

Today I did get a bit bored this afternoon and am looking forward to seeing my workmates tomorrow and using my brain for a change. It'll be strange going back to working 3 days a week but am sure I'll get used to it.

R&R came round last night. It was lovely to see them. R's trying to get some work. He's a self employed joiner and has been ok for work till Christmas but now he's back to trying to find some work.

At last the flu is abating. Today I've been to Meadowhall, the car park was absolutely jam packed and by the time I came away the overflow park had been opened. Bought a new bikini for my jollies - need to lose some weight though (about 3 stone!) and that's once again on my new year list same as last year.

Spoke to R yesterday and we're going to their house next Saturday for a meal. Tomorrow fingers crossed we're out with N&G. Its N's 46th bday on Sunday so will be celebrating (comisserating) with a few drinks and then a ruby murray.

Going to the supermarket in the morning and then it'll be ironing, in fact, I might do some after I've been on here.

Not back at work till next Wednesday so I'm going to try and get some jobs done around the house - trouble is though I do get bored with it but never mind. Also, I've promised myself to start doing some exercise and intend to go swimming on Tuesday.

Have a good weekend /xx

Came home from my sis's on Saturday not feeling too great and by Sunday flu had taken hold. Have been in bed most of this week and today am just managing to start to do things. Am a bit brassed off cos I was supposed to be working yesterday and today but had to ring in sick. Firstly, am brassed off cos its been 2 1/2 years since I was last off sick and am not too happy about having to break that and secondly I was hoping to get loads of stuff done in the office with it been a quiet time. Still life is what it is.

Now what I really am brassed off about is that we were supposed to be going out with N&G tonight and we've had to cancel on them, something which I don't like doing and I was really looking forward to going out with them. We've got another night out planned for Saturday so fingers crossed for that one!

Looking back on 2008 for me its been a good year. Holiday wise I've done some great things, our friendship with N&G has really come on leaps and bounds. Work wise our team has really turned a corner and I'm really pleased about being part of that. Of course, R moved in with R in June and although I've missed her and still do its been great to see her so happy.

Where our M is concerned its certainly been a turbulent year but since he's been going out with H he seems to have settled down and I'm hoping his next step will be to sort himself with a career. He's still working in the pub which has been great for him and I'm not knocking it but long term its not going to be a great way of providing him and any family he may have with a fantastic future but I'm certain that he'll come up trumps in the end.

Looking forward to 2009. Well me and hubby are going to Cuba in March which will be an adventure. Of course me and N will be off to London in February. My personal goal is to keep happy, do well in my new job and to carry on having a great social life.

Here's to 2009 I think it may be a bit of a difficult year with the economy in the state its currently in but as long as we can keep happy, healthy and have a roof over our heads that in my opinion is all that you can wish for.

Bye xx

Hope you all had a great Xmas and all the best for 2009 to you all.

Thought I'd spend a few minutes updating my blog on the past few weeks. Well I got P's job and will be starting w/c 5th Jan. My working days will be Wed-Fri and there's a possibility that the job may be stretched to 4 days but will wait and see on that one.

Am very happy to have been offered the job. The past 2 1/2 years since handing in my notice at my last employer until now has been very challenging. I didn't think after giving up a job due to mental health problems that anyone would want to employ me again but that was totally wrong. What I realise now was at the time I was strong enough to make a decision to change my life in what at first might seem a negative way but in fact it was my way of taking control of my life again and listening to my inner self on what I needed to do to get things on the right track again.

Getting over a breakdown is never easy but what I've learnt is that the only way to make sure it doesn't happen again is take time to think about what you need to do to change things. The first thing for me was facing the fact that I needed counselling to help me understand what was happening to me and finding a way of understanding that sometimes things happen to you that aren't your fault but nevertheless leave you feeling angry towards the world.

The second step was accepting that I am merely a human being and like anyone else have my emotional needs and insecurities. A major thing for me was realising that it's ok to ask for help - something that I once did and thought I hadn't been listened to but now I realise I was so wrong about that.

Anyway my plan on returning to work has always been one step at a time and I set myself small goals. The first was to find a job that wasn't mentally demanding and which also gave me a reason for getting out of bed in the morning. It was important to me in my return to get to the point where on an application form I didn't have to complete the bit about what illnesses have you had over the past two years (obviously minor ailments not included in this). I managed to do this about six months ago.

I've now taken the next step forward which has taken me to a job which was the same grade as I used to be on - for me this is a major achievement but to be honest that doesn't really matter. The reason I wanted the job was that I was getting bored doing the same thing all day which to me was a sign that I was ready for the next step and so in January will be doing a job which is more varied and enables me to get chance to chat with people which I love doing.

Sorry didn't mean this to be such a long blog.

We've had a lovely Xmas. It was our first without having R with us for Xmas lunch as they went to R's mas for that and came down later. We had my extended family with us plus M of course and it was great but next year I think we'll be going back to having a small family Xmas.

We went to the panto yesterday (Aladdin). This is a great panto and we all enjoyed it. Today I've succummbed to a winter cold and am not feeling too great. I'm supposed to be back at work on Tuesday and on NYE we're out wth N&G so I've got to get better for that. Mind you think hubby might come down with it too so will see what happens

That's all for now. Love to all xxxx

Hi to you all. I've not written on here for quite a while but I've got 10 minutes to here goes.

I've got an interview for P's job on 8th December. None of the other applicants have got experience of our department's work plus I've been doing the job now for about six weeks since P left and no problems so far, in fact think we're doing pretty good. We've sorted out the backlog of work and for the first time am quite up to date with our work.

Me and N have booked London. Are going on Feb 7th on a coach trip staying in an hotel overnight and will be seeing Dirty Dancing on Sat afternoon. We also going to Lincoln this Monday which should be good.

Getting ready for Xmas now, been shopping today.

Our M's just come home, not seen him for ages so going to have a chat with him. Bye xx

Just felt like saying our office is great at the moment. Since P's left there's no more sadness, moaning and being negative. C who is 21 and works in our team is simply ace. She's the same age as my daughter and she's absolutely lovely. Works extremely hard and is a real credit to our team. Not got an interview date yet for P's job but hope to get one tomorrow. Am really enjoying stepping up to the mark and doing her role so please, please keep them crossed for me!

ps. nearly forgot to say me and N have decided to have a break in London in the new year, just in the process of setting it up and can't wait!!!!!!!!!

Hi all, I've not been on here very much lately as currently I'm working four days a week and so have less free time available. Quick update on the job front. Currently I'm standing in for P who left about three weeks ago and boy what a relief it's been. I hadn't realised how draining she'd been to the team, never wanting to change anything and wanting to control everything that went on to the detriment of the department (in my opinion). It's awful but workwise we haven't missed her at all, in fact, its made things a lot easier. I've applied for her job which is the same hours but on the next band up. The closing date was last Thursday and so its wait and see time. Cross your fingers for me but to be honest if I don't get this one I'll definitely be moving on elsewhere after all the effort I've put in this year.

Anyway a quick round up of this weekend. Yesterday me and hubby went to N&G''s for a meal which was lovely. We had a great night until the end when N&G starting arguing (well really it was N telling G how she felt) about wanting to move house. We had at this point ordered a taxi which was taking ages to show up so me and hubby decided to take our leave and flag a taxi down. N was crying when we left and I feel so sorry for her cos G just won't see her point of view.

Today me and hubby went to Meadowhell and he bought a new suit for work. We had a look round the shops and I got some ideas of pressies I'd like for Xmas so have started my little list. Tomorrow going to Crystal Peaks to get a bit of shopping then its cleaning and cooking ala fish pie for tomorrow and meat and tatie pie for Tuesday.

Have a great night and see you soon. XX

Well hope you've had a good day. I started off this morning taking my car into have my windscreen sorted. It had a chip and luckily they managed to fix it so no insurance excess to pay, phew. Then went to Debenhams, I bought a Fiorelli bag recently and to be honest it was falling apart so I managed to get another back with enough money left over to put towards a gorgeous top which will be great to wear over the Xmas period.

I then came home and made sausage and egg sarnies for lunch after which hubby went off to watch Sheff Utd whilst I went to Morrisons to do the food shopping. After which I came home and rang my sis up for a chat. We sorted out Xmas and my sis and her family and my ma are coming to us in the afternoon. M will be working so we won't be having Xmas dinner until about 4.30 so we'll have all day to get it prepared whilst my sis can spend a few hours with my 10 year old nieces and their pressies.

For tea tonight I cooked from Jamie Oliver's new book and made Marrocan lamb, superb and very filling.

Now I've got Strictly on and am just waiting for the X Factor to start. Tomorrow going to have another leisurely day and then in the afternoon I'm taking ma to see R's house and then we're all having Sunday dinner at our house for which I'm cooking a turkey joint, pots, veg, yorkies and stuffing and finishing off with apple crumble and custard. Should be great. See you soon. XX