Interview day tomorrow (3.30 pm). Its been a hard couple of years after my breakdowns and I've been lucky enough to find a job that's not too taxing (although medical terminology takes a lot of getting used to) and I'm lucky enough to work in a place where we get on with one another.

I've talked myself out of and into attending the interview a thousand times since reading the letter last Wednesday. The job's on the same grade as I was on a couple of years ago before I resigned after deciding I couldn't face going back and putting myself through it.

Now I find that I'm bored doing my current role and I want to do something more challenging but to be honest I'm scared of the old demons coming back and losing control.

My life is totally different now, how? Well finally we'e got friends and a social life, our kids are now at an age where they're no longer dependent especially R as she's flown the nest and is living with R. I had six month's counselling which helped me to realise some of my own problems which previously I'd never realised. So all in all its a different picture than two years ago.

Question is what's worse staying in a mundane job cos I'm frightened of stretching myself (lack of confidence me thinks), or getting on with it and ok if it goes wrong so be it but at least I'll know I tried and perhaps I need to think of a change in career.

Wow me and hubby went to see Kylie on Monday night and she was absolutely fab. It was the best show ever and I'm now envious of anyone who has tickets to see her in Newcastle or London - rest assured you will enjoy it.

We went out with D&R last Friday. At times it can be difficult as D currently isn't working but is looking for work, however, its difficult bringing up things to talk about. Firstly its difficult talking about work when D's not in that situation and secondly its difficult to talk about things we're doing leisure wise cos they obviously haven't got as much money to do stuff and they've still got kids which they financially responsible for which increases the money pressure. However, it was a nice night and it was lovely to see them.

Just to update you on the job I applied for. I've got an interview for next Weds at 3.30 so fingers crossed.

Just got tomorrow to do then its the weekend again for me. R&R will be coming back from holiday tomorrow night so it'll be lovely to see them. On Sunday we're going with N&G to see the Abba movie and then on for some tea afterwards. Will have to go shopping for something to wear at the interview, I think I'm just going to get some new trousers as I have a jacket and top that I can wear.

That's it for now so see you soon.

Rain, rain go away! Will it never stop raining? Summer 2008 is an utter washout and thank goodness we've got 11 days booked in Lanzarote in September.

Today has been a day off as usual and to be honest I've been a bit lazy but after the last couple of weekends I needed to chill a bit.

Workwise its been an interesting week. P as usual hasn't been happy at work. Why she bothers coming I don't know cos she doesn't need the money and to be honest for the people that do its hard to keep hearing her moaning about it. Anyway, our boss got her back up even more yesterday. Our team needs some admin systems changing which necessitates P making changes to the way she works to become more proactive and do what she's actually paid for. This necessitates her passing stuff over to a lower paid member of staff so that she can get on with the work appropriate to her grade. Problem is she is a control freak in a big, big way and letting go is not something that comes easy to her.

Anyway, when boss was with P yesterday I kept stum and just got on with work unless I was asked something but I could see that P was getting more and more steamed up. If I'm honest I'm hoping that this will be the straw that breaks the camels back and may end up with P handing in her notice. It'd be lovely to be able to go to work and not having moaning minnie sat across from me.

Right got that off my chest. Onto the weekend. Tonight we're going for a pub meal with D&R which will be nice as we haven't seen them for a few weeks. Tomorrow night we're off to my sis's for a Chinese takeaway.

Sunday's weather forecast is that its going to be mainly dry so me and hubby might go for a walk but I can't wait for Monday, why? Cos I'm going with hubby to see Kylie at Manchester and I can't wait.

Hope you have a great weekend.

Oh what a fab weekend. Went with N&G to the caravan which is in Lincolnshire. When we got there I couldn't believe it the van is on a field with about 5 other caravans in what feels like the middle of nowhere and going onto it felt a bit like going onto a gipsy site but what a great time we had.

N&G are lovely people and really wanted to give us a good time (which they did). We got there on Friday at about 6.00 and we went off for a lovely walk along the side of the river then feeling very hungry we got into the car and went into Woodhall Spa and had a lovely pub meal. Then back to the caravan we went for drinkies and boy did the lads drink!

Got up on Saturday with a bit of a headache but after a lovely bacon buttie courtesy of G and a couple of paracetamols we went off to the village for a look around. Although it had been raining very hard but we managed to time our visit during a dry spell and we were also lucky to do this in the afternoon when we went for another riverside walk. Then Sat night after watching Dr Who we ventured out for a lovely curry and finally went to bed at about 11.00.

Sunday morning as usual we were all woken up at 6.30am by the cockrel and after sausage sarnies we went out again. Me and hubby got home about 5.00 last night and what had been a great weekend suddenly had an upsetting end.

Our son M, left alone in the house for the first time, had asked his mate to stay on Friday night. Now to be honest I don't much care for J but that's another story (see post done in Jan for a catch up on that one). Anyway J turned up with six mates and boxes of beer, M let them in and chaos ensued.

Luckily the house wasn't trashed and funnily enough what gave it away was the fact that the house was too tidy although a beer can in the garden border was also a good clue.

Hubby gave M a good talking to last night and for once was the bad cop and me this morning I woke M up with a cup of tea and asked him to come for a chat when he was ready - which he did (I was playing the good cop). Anyway, M told me exactly what had happened and I think we got off fairly lucky and he says in future he's not going to mention to J when we're away but I'm a bit unsure what to do. Me and hubby are booked to go to Lanzarote in September for 11 days which as you'll understand I'm now pretty anxious about. i've thought about cancelling the holiday but M will be 20 next month and I think that might be an over reaction.

My hunch is that M's had a scary experience as he says himself he felt things were getting out of hand at times and I think he'll have learnt from the experience but can I trust him and my instint? Can anyone advise?

Well it looks like we've got a wet weekend ahead and by sheer luck we're going with N&G to Woodhall Spa for the weekend to stay in their caravan so it looks like raindrops falling on a tin roof could be keeping us awake, never mind its a free weekend away.

R&R have gone to Sharm al Sheik for a fortnight today and after the last few weeks of house buying, second year Uni exams and work, work, work I think they're very ready for it. As for me well I've decided to apply for a job at a local hospital - the closing date is on Tuesday so I'm going to finish off my application in the morning and then get it posted before getting ready for the weekend away.

The job's on a higher grade than I'm on now and if it get it I'll be on the same band as I was a couple of years ago when I gave up my job for health reasons. I enjoy where I am at the moment but as a support secretary I've now got a bit bored as the job is 95% audio typing which for the past two years has been great as I didn't particularly want a challenging job but now I'm ready to move forward. Anyway I'll let you know how I get on.

Well what a weekend since finishing work last Thursday I haven't stopped but it feels good so much better than life when all I wanted to do was lay in bed all day, its just over two years since I started taking anti depressants and am starting to think perhaps about coming off them. If you've any experience of this let me know would be interested to hear how other people did it.

Anyhow back to the weekend. On Saturday I went to town with my ma and we went to the Millenium Galleries to see the Vivien Westwood exhibition. What a creative person she is although I don't quite understand where some of her ideas come from and some of her earlier stuff seems quite preoccupied with sexuality. It was really interesting and well worth going to. We then had lunch then did a bit of shopping. Saturday night me and hubby popped to our local for a couple of drinks which was really nice.

Sunday was a very mixed day. First thing I went to Morrisons for the food shop after having a coffee and unpacking the bags me and hubby went on a bit of a garden centre fest and had a lovely pork sandwich in one of the centres. We then came home and I did some housework before making dinner.

R&R came and I did a chinese kind of meal: lemon chicken, fried cabbages, stir friend veg, noodles and rice followed by Eton Mess, mmmmm. When it was time for them to go home I could feel the tears coming and managed to hold back till they drove off upon which I went sobbing to my hubby and needed a huge cuddle. Its strange without her!

Today I went to Meadowhall and had a good look round. To be honest there's not much in the sales but I had a nice couple of hours. This afternoon was cleaning the bathrooms time, followed by ironing which was nicely interrupted by R popping in for a coffee. After finishing the iron and sorted R's room and put up the newly laundered curtains and made the bed.

I've made a strawberry flan for tea which will follow mackerel, salad and new potatoes. To finish off I've finally managed to get some gardening done.

Hubby's just walked in so its off to the kitchen for me! See you soon.

Well R&R got their house today and she's moved out. I shed some tears just before she went and managed to hold back the floodgates till she'd gone. They've bought a house 5 mins drive away from us so I know they're not far away but its awful seeing her room empty and her drawers cleared.

I went up to the house this afternoon to have a look round. Its a middle terrace but very spacious although its in need of a total redecoration and its filthy. So Reb got on with cleaning the kitchen and I volunteered to clear their bathroom. Boy I'd never seen such a scruffy bathroom before. The tiles were filthy, the toilet etc was scruffy but after two hours armed with Cillit Bang, bleach, toilet cleaner and a lot of elbow grease I left it gleaming. I couldn't bear for them to be in there and having to live with a filthy bathroom. So I left it sparkling and smelling of cleaning products so much fresher than before.

Had a bit of an episode with our son M. He works at a local pub and was supposed to be at work but decided to go AWOL as the bosses had really brassed him off. Anyway found out he and his mates had gone to Liverpool. He's just come bank and gone to work so I think he'll be in for some harsh words when he gets there. God its hard being a parent!

Well that's my holiday over. I've been off work for 11 days now and just about every minute has been accounted for.

On Sunday we woke at 9.30 after having 11 hours sleep. The day was filled by popping to B&Q to get some garden compost, doing the supermarket shop and then after lunch cleaning the house, repotting some plants and planting some seeds. I made a chicken dinner which was finished off by home grown strawberries from our allotment mmmmmm.

Today I went with R to the hospital. She's got a balance problem and is having a series of tests to see how bad it is. After popping to Morrisons we came home, had lunch then sorted out even more laundry and cleaned the bathrooms. R&R are getting their house on Friday and they're going on holiday the Thursday after and R's so busy she's not going to have time to get all her ironing done so I did 1 1/2 hours of it this afternoon and that was just her T shirts. For tea me and hubby had salmon, rice, carrots and homegrown cabbage which I stir fried following by strawberries.

After tea me and hubby went down to the allotment as I needed to get some beetroot planted. Whilst hubby did some weeding I earthed the spuds up and 90 mins later I came home with more strawberries, some of which I've frozen, before having a lovely shower.

R's just come in from work with a bottle of wine which I've got a glass of in payment for the ironing. Think I'll sleep well tonight. xxxx

Hi all, just got back from Wales and we've had a fab time. We were so lucky with the weather - it only rained (poured down) on Wednesday and so we built that into the schedule worked around it by going on the Ffestiniog railway and then onto the slate caverns at Llechweld (think thats the name) and still had a great day.

We stayed at a lovely B&B in Llanberis (thanks Martin and Sally for your hospitality). On Monday we popped into Llandudno and had a stroll round, lunched and then went up the Great Orme on the little tramcar.

Tuesday morning we were on the first train up Snowdon and boy it was cold up there. The train isn't going all the way to the top at the moment but it was still really good. In the afternoon we popped to Beaumaris and went around the castle before going back to Llanberis and walking round Lake Padarn - hubby reckoned it was a 4 mile walk but we reckon it was about 7.

On Thursday we walked half way up Snowdon and back down again. By the time we got to the halfway cafe it was too cloudy to carry on up to the top and to be honest by then we were knackered.

Yesterday we drove to Manchester and met N&G. We stayed at the Copthorne Hotel and after meeting them at midday we went round the Lowry art gallery and then onto the Great War Museum and it was really good. We finished off the day by going to Chinatown where we had the best Chinese ever.

Today we had a look round Manchester city centre and did a bit of retail therapy. We then started on the journey back to Shefield calling in at the Snake Pass Inn where we had a lovely meal - would recommend their bangers and mash. It was a lovely way to finish off our holiday and our time with N&G. We're going away for the weekend again with them in a couple of weeks to their caravan and we're really looking forward to that.

Am off now till Tuesday and I'm going to rest my weary feet. Would recommend a break to Snowdonia. See you soon

Phew, hubby got the car tanked up with petrol on his way home from work on Friday so off to Wales we go in the morning (keep fingers crossed for sunshine).

Me and R went to see Sex in the City on Friday. I've never seen the programme but still thought the film was fab. Quite poignant but very funny in parts too. Later that night we went to see Robby at our local but to be honest he wasn't that good. Anyway me and hubby had a couple of drinks and a nice evening together before coming home.

Yesterday, I felt a bit tired and did house things all day,same for today really but its been a nice chilling weekend.

Don't know about you but I've always got a book on the go. Currently I'm reading Last Chance Saloon by Mariam Keyes and its one of those books that you don't want to put down even though you're having trouble keeping your eyes open.

Tonight we're having a curry takeaway with the kids which will be nice. R&R will be getting their house soon so it may be sometime before we all sit down for a meal together again.

Well the bags are packed now and me and hubby are ready for the off. We'll be staying in a B&B in Llanberis. We plan to walk up Snowdon on Tuesday and we also want to visit Beaumariswhilst we're there. Here's hoping that the sun shines for us. See you soon